Letter to Love

It’s been very long since we talked. You may be angry at me for leaving without saying goodbye. Clichéd as it may be, the reason I didn’t say goodbye was because it honestly hurt me to say goodbye to you not knowing when I’d be back, or indeed if ever I’d be back. I had to leave to make a name for myself. I’ve always loved you, but in the presence of your phenomenal intelligence I’ve always felt somewhat dimwitted. I so desperately wanted your attention and your approval but being the unemployed parasite that I were was no way of achieving those things. I constantly had this dream that we were married, with children and led ‘happily-ever-after’ type lives. I wanted to prove that I was capable of being something other than this lonely gamer who sponged off his family’s fortune for a living. I wanted to prove that, in said dream, I would be able to provide for my loving wife and kids.

The irony of it all I guess is that I left the country that has wronged me in so many ways in the past to search for a brighter future, only to find myself in a dull and tedious environment with the most unimaginative job I could possibly acquire. “The pay is really good,” I find myself repeatedly telling myself. My life choices in their entirety are constantly being questioned in my mind. Am I doomed to be alone like my father? Is the work stress and the constant reminder of you going to kill me at a young age? Will I even wake up tomorrow? All I think of is what might have been. It is becoming more apparent to me that you are the girl who got away: my destiny; my one and only. Oh, how I wish our paths would cross again. Because love, without you there is no tomorrow.

Our love was always doomed from the start. The timing of everything from your heartbreaks to my heartbreaks could not have been worse. I guess you shall forever remain embedded in my mind as a distant memory and unfortunately nothing more. I imagine you’ve already moved on and forgotten all about me. I imagine it’s probably for the best.

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I’m back baby!

Did you miss me? Well I’m back!! Sorry it took so long. I had to work on several projects and my seminar paper. So much has happened since the last time I posted on here. Firstly, I hope you all enjoyed your Christmas, and I’d like to wish you all a happy new year. I also want to mention that Courtney Cox is actually really really hot! Seriously, I never really thought about it, but for some reason I’m kinda digging her lately. I’d tap that 😉 Oh! I’ve finished the music to a new song. It’s working title is “Star of Life 2”, but it’s probably going to change to “I’m Over You”. For those of you who don’t know, “Star of Life” was this 9-minute song/symphony I worked on before. It took me forever to finish it and when it was done, it was okay, but I think it could have been a lot better. Since then I’ve been working on a follow up and I’m proud to say it’s definitely a lot better than the first one. The only thing left is the vocals, but since the lyrics are still being written, I don’t think I’m going to be recording them anytime soon, so it’s still going to be a while before the complete final version is released. I do have the full instrumental version though for you all to listen to. Remember, all feedback is welcome!

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So those shark attacks in Sharm El Sheikh are becoming a huge deal. Obviously it’s a serious issue that needs to be solved, but due to the stupidity of some people, they haven’t solved much. Instead, they caught the wrong sharks. And the Egyptian media, well they tend to blow everything out of proportion. They claim that these sharks were somehow trained and put there by Israel (surprise surprise). Now I’m an Egyptian Muslim, and even I don’t think Israel did this. Rather than blame everything on them, why not actually spend our efforts on trying to catch them, and then worry about where they came from. Here are some other examples of Egypt’s bullshit media coverage: when Obama came to Cairo to make a speech, they were amazed at how he wasn’t reading from a piece of paper like the Egyptian President does, and papers here claimed that he was using some type of magical invisible screen that he used to read off. Ahem ahem…. IT’S CALLED PRESENTATION SKILLS! There’s nothing wrong with knowing what he had to say rather than just reading off paper!! Wow, Bush really did have a huge impact on the world! Everyone seems to think all presidents are as stupid as him! And even if he was reading off something, I think it’s much more likely that it was a bunch of cue cards behind the camera and not an invisible screen. And don’t even get me started on that photograph the Egyptian media edited. Remember those peace talks between the Presidents of America, Egypt, Jordan, Palestine and Israel? Well the photograph taken had the Egyptian President on the side and Obama leading the other presidents down a red carpet I think. Egyptian Media being as biased as they are, decided to publish the photoshopped alternative which showed the Egyptian President in the middle and leading the talks as opposed to just being in the back. Everything just seems to get more and more fucked up, and it makes you wonder, where the hell is the limit? Is this ever going to end? Nobody knows. Nobody knows.

Anyway, enough of that. For a very long time I’ve really wanted to record a tribute song to all the friends I’ve lost to road accidents. It’s absolutely tragic. So many accidents, and so many lives destroyed because of some idiot’s choice to try and show off to his good-looking female passenger, or because of driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs, or simply because of speed. Now to be honest, I’ve driven under the influence myself several times, and I should have known better. I’ve always been up for spreading awareness about several causes, but unlike AIDS, breast cancer or poverty, I honestly believe this is self-induced. There’s a lot of things that are just out of our control, but something like this we have complete control over from the beginning. It’s the poor innocent victims that are involved that have no control over it. So please, all it takes is a little bit of control. Please drive safely. It’ll save your life as well as everyone else’s.